US Open Pix

Mainly for interested family members. The rest of you can... uh... read about how mean Tasmanian Devils are to each other.

The pictures were from a Day 2 match against Creole, a fabled team from NYC. They were pretty good, but we won in three games.


I am fairly certain this tip landed in front of Kevin, the gentleman poised on the right. That's me blocking middle there (number 11).


Though I think we got him this time, the guy on the other team pretty much owned me this match. Number 4 there is Brad, the person I mentioned last post who flew in to see the Einaudi concert.



That's me on the left, demonstrating how NOT to block. (You see, if the ball hits my hands there, it goes back to the other side of the net, out of bounds. Which is exactly what happened, if I recall this play correctly.)


Serving a jump-float. Strange face.



I just barely got a touch on this, which was good enough for it to go down and land on the other floor.


Hmm. I think the only three times we / I stopped this guy, we got pictures of it. This time it was his own fault, as you see him hitting the ball in the net. Thankfully, there are no pictures of the 27 or so kills he must have had against me.



Eventually, I figured out he really, REALLY liked to hit the ball to his right.

- Aw2pp, the shiny-headed guy

And another volleyball season is in the books

This is my 20th year of playing volleyball competitively. Last weekend, I played in my (counting, hold please...) 12th US Open. Or, as I like to call it, the Annual Memorial Day Convention of Unusually Tall People.

The first time I played this tournament was in Memphis, 1993. (It moves from city to city each year, you see.) At the time, former USA National Team middle blocker Craig Buck was regarded, at 6'8", as some sort of freakishly tall curiosity. Near the tournament desk, the USVBA Tournament Directors placed a lifesize, cardboard cutout of Craig, standing with one hand at his side, and another stretched toward the ceiling. I watched many people walk up to Cardboard Craig, compare their meager paws and reach to his, and walk away shaking their that such a creature could exist, especially one with the agility and quickness needed to play world-class volleyball.

Fast forward now to this past weekend. I must have seen, oh, 75 people (including at least one woman) taller than Cardboard Craig. Volleyball players are getting younger and taller. Craig would blend right in these days; nobody would blink at him. One of my friends had a 7'3" blocking specialist on his team. (That guy turned some heads, but he was not a very good volleyball player.)

So yes, you may have been walking around your block, or mall, or town square, or wherever one walks, wondering to yourself, "Gosh, where are all the 6'3" women, and 6'9" men I am used to seeing?" I can tell you. They were in Minneapolis playing volleyball. As a reasonably (but by no means shockingly) tall person, I am accustomed to being the tallest individual in sight. But this tournament (and, to a lesser extent, the smaller events held during the course of the regular season) are simultaneously thrilling and yet intimidating for me. On the one hand, it is a thrill to feel part of some sort of special (yet totally meaningless) coterie. But it is also highly intimidating to realize that there are hundreds, even thousands of folks that are highly skilled, athletically gifted, and yes, tall. It's a reminder to stay off the High Horse.

The tournament is called the US Open and Club Volleyball Championships. It isn't so much a single tournament as it is multiple concurrent national championship tournaments, in dozens of divisions defined by gender, age, and skills. My team, Chicago Coast North, technically doesn't play in the US Open. That level of play is reserved for folks who are (or recently were, or soon will be) National-caliber players. Among the Open women's teams, for example, were Team Canada, UCLA, and their PAC-10 rivals (and recent NCAA Champion) Washington Huskies. Canada also sent their men's National team, where they finished mid-pack among an 8 team field in Men's Open. My division, Men's A, is slotted a level (ok, fine, two levels) below Open. We were seeded 8th in our 52 team field, and at first, I regarded that as a gross exaggeration of our skills. Turned out, I underestimated us. We had a phenomenal tournament, winning 8 of our 11 matches, losing only to the eventual 2nd and 3rd place finishers. We finished 5th, the best finish I have been part of since my Texas team placed 3rd in 1998. Good time was had by all, but don't ask me to move any furniture today. "Sore" doesn't begin to describe the feeling of 27 volleyball games, played over the course of 3 days, on courts that are merely a rubberized surface atop a concrete convention center floor. Photos will come later. Thousands were taken, and I'm bound to have been in one or two of them.

During a lunchtime conversation, Kevin (another middle blocker) was complaining about TV. As the father of 4 youngins (three under 4), he and his wife have the same constraints Sue and I have about TV. Time restrictions and content (especially commercials) make family TV watching problematic. So he turns to me: "You don't watch much TV, do you guys?"

"Well, seems like Ro watches a lot, but for the most part, no, it never seems like there is time. Always moving to the next activity or stage in the day." And I launched into how I have had friends in the past who took pride in how little TV they watched, as if it were a sign of their cultural or intellectual refinement. Me, I take no pride in how little TV we watch. I would watch more if I could, and look forward to some day getting into shows like House, or 24, or Lost, or whatever will be on TV when Joey goes to college*. But since I don't watch those regularly now, there is no point in getting into them at all.

* - Joey is the soon-to-be 10 month old. Yeah, it will be a few years.

"So, aside from cleaning up after dinner, doing bedtime stuff, and all that, what do you do with your time? Like, for fun?"

"Well, talk is fun. Hanging out. And I play piano. That's part of how I got into piano in the first place, come to think of it."

"Oh yeah, how is that going?" (When Kevin and his family came to see us a few months back, I was goaded into playing Limbo for them. He warned me at the time, "I don't play an instrument, but I know enough music to be able to tell if you are faking your way through it, so you better play it right. No pressure.")

"Good. I have a recital coming up, where I am going to play something else by that same guy."

Brad, sitting two seats over, then piped in. He is an Outside Hitter we imported from Los Angeles. Good guy, really laid back in his Southern Californian way. I had no idea he was paying attention to the conversation, until he asked, "What guy? What are you playing?"

I assume, as a general principle, that the music I am playing (which, as you all know, is Einaudi's I Due Fiumi) is completely obscure. I further assume (which I shouldn't... Sue is telling me all the time I assume too much and too frequently) that nobody cares, or has ever heard of the music I am playing. I therefore assume (and I have no idea why I assume this) that these conversations would be much easier if I were playing something people can relate to, like Fur Elise, Hey Jude, or Hit Me Baby One More Time. But food had just arrived, I was more interested in eating my burger than continuing this conversation, so I said, as matter-of-factly as I could, "I Due Fiumi by Ludovico Einaudi." I thought that would sort of end the conversation. I was wrong.

"Oh, I love that guy. He's awesome. I saw him in concert a few months ago. What did you say you were playing again?"

I would have been less stunned had he told me about his plans to go to market with a cold-fusion powered Big Wheel. After a moment of recovery, I repeated "I Due Fiumi. It means 'The Two Rivers'."

"Never heard of it." He then pulled out his iPhone (every SoCal I have ever met has an iPhone) and showed me his Einaudi collection, including Una Mattina and Divenire. He wrote down I Giorni, the CD on which I Due Fiumi was released, and casually got to work on a cobb salad. In between bites, he talked about how he played piano a long time ago, doesn't anymore, a friend got him into Einaudi, landed concert tickets, they flew to San Francisco for the day, etc. As I mentioned earlier, I was stunned at this conversation... he seemed to regard it as quite unremarkable.

Next day, I handed him my Blackberry, and asked him to give IDF a listen. "Oh, I already have it. I downloaded it off iTunes last night. Good stuff. Anything else you want to recommend of his?" Well then.

On the way out after the tournament ended Tuesday, he wished me luck on the recital, and asked if I were going to record it. "Post it to Youtube." Right now, my Youtube channel consists of only a single recording (I think, it's been awhile) of me attempting Limbo last summer. Might be time to add some content.

- Aw2pp, who is all about the Requirements Author's Workbench

"Don't try to improve it"

Piano lessons continue, even though I haven't mentioned much about them here. While I was in Toronto last week, Jason pinch-hit for me, taking his first ever formal lesson (assuming you don't count Jillian's lessons last summer). He already has his first assignment in his first book. And, at the risk of sounding like the clueless proud daddy here, I must say he is off to a flying start. He can play his C-D-C-D-C-D-E-F-G (right hand only) just fine. Most importantly, it is great to see him proud of himself.

He'll pinch hit for me next week as well, since I will be on my way home from the US Open VB Tournament, and won't be back in time. Then, starting the second week in June, he and Jillian will have a permanent spot in PT's weekly summer rotation. Me? I will not. Heaven knows what my schedule will be, but Jason and Jillian will have schedules as regular and predictable as Johnny Unitas' hair.



(Quoth Abe Simpson: "Johnny Unitas... now there is a haircut you can set your watch to.")

So I will probably take one or two lessons over the summer, as kids' schedules permit, but my regular slot won't resume until September. Which means, among other things, that I am trying to get plenty of fodder in my last couple of lessons before summer hiatus. Tonight was my second-to-last. And the entire focus was on I Due Fiumi, my recital piece (countdown clock: 17 days). I played it (very well), tinkered with some trouble spots, implemented a couple of suggestions, played it in its entirety again (less well) and talked a little more about points of emphasis. Then she dropped this on me:

"Keep working on it, but don't try to improve it."

"Um, what? But... there are parts I can play better."

"Don't try to play it better."

Upon further investigation, what she meant, in the nicest way she could manage, was to say that IDF is about is as good as it is going to get for me, right now. Playing it more in the next 17 days may smooth out a rough edge here or there, but nothing anyone besides me (and possibly, but not certainly her) would notice. It is not perfect, but the only thing I can do to improve it is to improve my skill, my technique. Which could happen in six months, certainly in a year. But in two weeks? Meh. Eat a banana one hour before the recital (thank for that tip, mom3gram), and I'm good to go.

Some time in the next few weeks, I am going to try to score some time on the recital instrument, our church's five year-old Kawai RX-3. Looking at the list price of these pianos, I hope to not like it too much. ("Honey, about that new Odyssey we were talking about for this year... maybe next... for the same price, wouldn't you rather have a new Kawai instead? You would, right?")

I'll keep you posted.

- Aw2pp, wannabe arborist

YYZ Mega-Lengthy Post

Hello from YYZ, the TLA* representing Toronto's Pearson International Airport. If you've been with us for awhile, you know nothing brings out the long, wordy posts in me like a few hours in an airport. To celebrate, let's hear Rush's song by that time. I am told that this instrumental is a series of variations on the Morse Code representation of YYZ, that beeps endlessly on those radio frequencies pilots use. Does anyone even speak Morse code anymore?

YYZ - Rush

* - Three Letter Acronym. Stay with us now, we covered this months ago.

After 50 hours of training, and more fancy dinners in four days than I have had in, mercy, a year, I finally have a moment to let my brain do nothing. I will now forgo that opportunity, and catch you up a little on details of how I came to be here.

As you recall, I got word that IBM figured they could do without me on January 24, one day after the Inauguration. I spent most of that first month of February lining up five really strong opportunities, all of which eventually, surprisingly, and disappointingly fell through. Of the approximately 400 jobs I have since applied for, 40 or so were with IBM. Of those 40, I secured interviews for exactly none of them. I worked with about 10 recruiters, some of whom submitted me for positions for which I was completely unsuited. Counting recruiter conversations, I did between 50 and 60 interviews, mostly over the phone. I'll advise my accountant that, in my job search, I drove approximately 1350 miles for interviews, and spend $68 on train tickets downtown. During those months, there were 4 positions that I was sure would turn into offers, and each of those disintegrated in the 11th hour for various reasons. Most of which were out of my control.

[begin tangential rant on meaning of life questions...]

A word on "control"... I've been giving a lot of thought these months to "meaning" or "purpose"... by that, I mean that thing that gets you out of bed in the morning. What's the meaning of your life? Jesus says the meaning of life is to love God and serve others. Nietzche claimed life has no meaning at all, a belief that led him to some startling conclusions. Literally, if meaning is "what gets you out of bed in the morning?" I would have to say these last few months, my children have been my meaning... they have come in earlier than they should, and drug me (and Sue) out of bed well before we needed to be. Of course, over time, the final meaning of my life will be partially defined by what my children become. But not completely. There is a danger there... while I'd like to think I have some impact on the final outcome of my children's development, I have to admit that my four independently-minded children are also their own creatures. There are aspects of their development that are out of my control, and who they become (if Sue and I do our jobs correctly) will be largely determined by them, provided we give them the guidance, resources, and opportunities they need to discover and maximize who they were meant to be. My purpose, then, is to provide them the tools they need. But in the end, the final outcome will be up to them.


* - YMMV, but that is my reading of Matthew 22:36-40.

Finding meaning in someone or something that is outside your control... that's a dangerous prospect. Here's another example... I am about to get on an airplane. I will derive no satisfaction, no sense of a job well done, if / when the airplane touches down at O'Hare. Will I be glad? Of course! But because the successful completion of this flight is completely and utterly out of my control, it will give me no satisfaction... no meaning.

So what else is there? Not to get all CS Lewis on you here, but Ecclesiastes suggests that it is a good thing to find meaning in ones work. And I admit, there is a lot of that in me. This can be a good thing, because, unless you are a... oh, let's pick a good one... Clown at the Goat Rodeo... you have some measure of control over the quality and perhaps even outcome of your work. You control how hard you work. You control how well you do your work. You may not always have direct control over the outcome, especially when you have to rely on colleagues or customers, but if you keep the focus on factors under your immediate control, this makes negative outcomes easier to handle.

[end tangential rant on meaning of life questions...]

All of this leads me back to these last (counts them...) 76 days. I was able to control the number and quality of applications and outreaches I made. And for awhile, I derived some sense of accomplishment from those days when I placed a large number of seemingly relevant applications. Thing is, I had absolutely no control over how, or even whether, the prospective employer would respond. Hyatt, iTKO, JPMorgan Chase, CNA, Riverstar, ArrowStream, they thought about me, many interviewed me, some should have hired me, but none did. Dozens of others never even responded to my application... many of those, too, should have hired me. It would have been better for all of us... me, them, and even you, we all would have been better off had they hired me as soon as they had the chance. They chose not to, for reasons that were absolutely and completely out of my control.

And this drove me batty.

So you'll never guess what I did. I undertook a project over which I had complete and absolute control. I cleared brush off our yard.

Wait... don't laugh. And don't leave. Seriously, think about this for a moment. Growing increasingly frustrated with how things were proceeding, not to mention taking some pride in all the money I was saving us by not having to pay $33 an hour for a yard crew to do the work for us*, I went out and started clearing this mess of a yard of ours. And believe it or not, I felt great peace and satisfaction at the results.

* - No lie, that was the quote. For that price, I would hope the crew would have thrown in some SAP consulting services while they were at it.

See for yourself. Mind you, it's now a group project (any volunteers?), and we are not even halfway done.


Before



After - No livestock or power tools were used in the clearing of this land. Which is a real shame, because I bet it would have been much easier that way. Maybe not both at the same time (livestock using power tools), but certainly one or the other.


Me, and my trusty clippers. You'd be amazed at what they can cut through.

Then what happened? Just about this time, I began a fresh round of applications to employers that, for the most part, neither you nor I had ever heard of. Perhaps it was a coincidence (Gramma MA would say there are no such things), it was just that the timing was right, first signs of the economy improving... or perhaps these afternoons in the yard allowed me to approach this job search thing with a clean mind and sense of purpose... But for whatever reason, these applications resonated with the companies and hiring managers who received them. As of a week ago Monday, I had six things cooking warmly on the front burner, and felt good about almost all of them. I was ecstatic about one or two of them. I have since come to learn that I was a real candidate for most of them. Then, innocently, without much thought, on Monday morning, I applied for yet another position I saw, this time on Linkedin. This application was just another backup for these primary opportunities. I was sure I wouldn't need it, because I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that these other things were going to result in several offers in the next few weeks. But I applied anyway. You can never have too many contingency plans.

Tuesday the hiring manager wrote back, asking to speak with me.

Wednesday, our scheduled 30 minute call ran over by 60 minutes.

Thursday, I had lunch with the local Sales Director. Upon completion of that meeting, he called his colleagues, asked them to circumvent their usual hiring process, and extend me an offer immediately. By the time I got home, I had it.

Friday, I accepted it.

I went from never having heard of the company, to working for them, in 72 hours. And now here I am in Toronto, having put in five days of boot camp training with my new team. It's ironic that, of all the customers I spoke with, all the recruiters who reached out to me and submitted me for jobs (some relevant to my skill set, some not), all the Ladders* openings I applied to... in the end, all of those activities amounted to nothing... they were merely preparatory exercises for the one opportunity that finally, and very quickly, came together. No recruiter was involved, no friends or friends of friends brokered the opportunity. Right place, right time.

* - Note to self... cancel that Ladders premium membership ASAP.

It only takes one.

Live, in-person recital countdown clock: 21 days, and counting.

- Aw2pp, who spent an entire week in Canada, and never once heard someone finish a sentence with "eh". Do they not talk like that anymore?

Hello from Toronto

Just a brief check-in to let you know that I am at the halfway point in my first week of training with my new company. During the day, we've been plowing through the material, trying to cover three days of coursework in two days. For the rest of the week, we are going to learn about the new version of the software, when we hardly know the old.

At night, it's all about meeting people and trading stories. Not much time for much else.

More later.

- Aw2pp, eh

Another recording - my ABF Recital Submission

Thanks for the warm welcome back. I owe you some thoughts on the job search, and the position I ended up with. Maybe later this week. But one of my to-do's prior to getting on the plane tomorrow was to record and submit my Quarterly Recital Piece (my second!). And here it is.

I Due Fiumi - Aw2pp

Box.net link

Things I like:
- No major errors. Unlike Ombre, my first recital piece, there were no obvious hesitations or missed notes on this recording. Which is good for me. It's not perfect (hold that thought), but if I played it this well for my actual recital in June, I would be happy with this.
- The music. After playing it probably hundreds of times, this piece is still new and fresh to me. My attention span isn't so good... music tends to bore me quickly, so that is really saying something.

Things I don't like:
- I may have mentioned before that my Pianissimo virtual piano, which came with a Christmas present, was only a trial version. This MP3 was made with a free soundfount, the Maestro Grand Piano. It's a very large file, but still, I think the recording sounds artificial. It's obviously a digital piano. Wish it sounded more lifelike, but then again, I am not willing to pay for something that does.
- No major mistakes, but a couple of minor ones. A couple of pedaling errors that Monica K and Anthony B might notice, because they know the piece so well. And I wish I had come in stronger with the RH at about the 3:04 mark.

But all in all, this isn't bad for me, and I am reasonably happy with it.

Mom3gram... bananas? I hereby make a promise to you that I will eat a banana on the way to the church (where our recital will be). I found, during the 10 or 15 takes it took to record this version, that a good deep breath (combined with a bottle of Zinfandel... not White Zinfandel, mind you, but the real stuff) is a very helpful relaxer prior to the first measure. I'm all for trying other proven methods as well, because I bet I will be a bundle of nerves on recital day.

- Aw2pp, who hopes the Hilton in Toronto has a piano somewhere.

Regular blogging schedule to resume in 3, 2, 1...

Ok, the job hunt is over, and normalcy is making good on its threat to return. I've plenty to post, but for now, let's prime the pump with a shaky recording of Alexander's Ragtime Band. I admit to a love / hate relationship with this piece. First, the lyrics are totally annoying.

The can play a bugle call, like you never heard before
So natural, make you want to go to way
That's just the bestest band what am...

I mean, who wrote this, Popeye? (Answer: Irving Berlin)

But my initial dislike was more than lyrical. The jumps were unnatural to me, and rather than playing them, I had to basically memorize them, because they made little intrinsic sense to me. Once memorized, though, the piece start to come together a little for me, and at that point, it became fun. I played this a lot two weeks ago, and into this past weekend. But then I found I could not polish it to my liking, and I got all annoyed again. So here it is, as good as it is going to get.

Enjoy.

Alexanders Ragtime Band - Aw2pp

Box.net link

- Aw2pp, who is all a-twitter about his new job, and will tell you about it later

Since our last episode...

... we've hit the following developmental milestones:

- Jillian sight-read her first piece without having written in the note names first.
- Jason scored his first (and, this past Saturday, second) goal in a real soccer game.
- Rowan busted out a Caddyshack line on us.
- Joey spoke his first word: "Uh-oh."
- I got my first job offer since this mess started in January. Sort of.
- I have played very, very little piano.

If I were a full time blogger (heh, I may as well be, I've got some time on my hands), each of these would warrant their own lengthy posts. But let's just pick one: Rowan.

It started about, losh sakes, 3 weeks ago now. I was preparing for an interview with an IT Consulting Services Company. You may recall I had some reservations about this position, mainly because I have never sold consulting services. The recruiter who brokered this opportunity gave me a last second "Go get 'em!" call as I was headed out the door. He hung up after dropping these three words: "Be the ball!"

I said to Sue, "I can't believe he just told me to be the ball." She laughed, and said, "Well, be the ball then!" I must have been somewhat ball-like, because the company decided they liked me, just not enough to hire me in their present circumstances. You knew that already.

So about a week ago, over lunch, I was complaining about how annoying it was to be without a job, and have so many things on the cusp of closure, just to have them disintegrate in the 11th hour. Sue was doing her optimistic best to focus on the possibilities, and what we could do to make them happen. Ro was still at her lunch, not seeming to pay attention to what should have been, for a two year old, a very boring adult conversation. So I wasn't sure I heard her right when, from out of the blue, she said "Be the ball."

Long pause. "Rowan, did you just say 'Be the ball?'"

"Yep. Be the ball."

Sue and I look at each other, thunderstruck. She didn't believe what she was hearing, either. We look at Rowan, who is not looking at us... she's back to eating. After gaining some composure (no mean feat), Sue asks, "Why do you want daddy to be the ball?"

Now Ro looks up. "Well, because when daddy go to work, you say to him, 'Be the ball.' So I say, 'Be the ball!'" Yes, our two-year-old is quoting Caddyshack. Appropriately, no less. It has been sort of a mantra for us ever since. I'd embed it here, but the only clips I can find of this Caddyshack scene contain some Pg-13 type unrelated dialog, and that won't do, this is a family show here.

Latest on the job front is that a company is nearing decision time (today? tomorrow?) on a position for which I did a couple of interviews. There are three finalists for the position, and my recruiter (of course) tells me I am the best fit. If it falls through, I do have an offer from a small* IT company that wants me to be a salesperson. The catch is they cannot pay me a salary.

* - By "small" I mean 2 people. An elder at my church who runs this business, literally, out of his garage. And his wife, the company VP, who does the books. And oh, by the way, she is also our piano teacher.

- Aw2pp, who is the ball.

Stop me if you've heard this one before

I had three (3!) interviews yesterday. (Yes, I slept well last night, thanks for asking.) All went great. Two of them were for consulting services sales positions (don't laugh), and one was for a Director of Pre-Sales position at a small Supply Chain Management vendor. I just got off the phone with Bob, the recruiter who had been lining up interviews with these IT Consultancies. Poor guy. He has been working his tail off for me. It's not easy. These IT Consulting Services sales positions are highly lucrative, and the hiring managers expect that you have a significant track record, 5, 10 years long, of success in the role. Me? I have none. I sold software, and sometimes services came with the deal. So the interviews have been uphill struggles, and I've had to work very hard to demonstrate I have what they're looking for, despite my utter lack of experience. Bob has been very helpful in this regard; so I could hear the pain in his voice.

"Aw2pp, they like you a lot. You've convinced them that you are what they are looking for, and that you fit the profile of successful people in their company. In fact..."

(Get ready, here it comes)

"... a month ago, they'd be working on putting together your offer at this point. And maybe a month from now, they'll be working on your offer. But they just promoted their Sales Manager to Branch Manager. And right now, without a sales manager in place, they don't think they can give you the support, the resources you need to be successful."

Thoughtful pause on my end. Then, "So, Bob, how you doing working on getting them a Sales Manager? Anything I can do to help?"

I have mixed feelings on this. I would like to make the kind of money these positions supposedly command, and of course would highly prefer an offer over any other outcome. But I never sufficiently overcame my own doubts about whether I could make this kind of transition. Clearly I did a fair job of stifling those doubts, since I got (yet another) almost-but-not-quite offer. So although I would rather be evaluating an offer at this point, there is a small sense of satisfaction at having overcome their initial, highly significant doubts about me. Either way, poor Bob is working the phones with the next IT Consultancy on his list, with whom we'll restart the whole exercise possibly as soon as tomorrow.

The good news here is that the third position I interviewed for yesterday, the Pre-Sales Director position is a much closer fit to my profile. The company is comfortable with my sales and technology background, but (here it comes) has some reservations about how little SCM work I have done. So, for now, they are going to continue their conversations with two other candidates. Nevertheless, the inside scoop suggests I might be a better fit than those guys. We'll see. This should conclude quickly, possibly as soon as this week.

With all this going on, I've not had any time to sit at the piano. I made very little progress either on Le Onde as my recital piece, or assignments in Alfred's. And based on this, I admitted to the piano teacher that I didn't think I was going to have Le Onde ready in six weeks. I might be able to struggle through it by that point, if I did nothing else in the meantime. But I think it would be highly unlikely, in that case, that I would be far enough along with it to perform in front of, you know, actual people. For this reason, I Due Fiumi is now my recital piece. Expect a Youtube clip sometime after the June recital.

If I can get Le Onde presentable, I'll let you hear it. Sometime before Labor Day, perhaps. Thanksgiving maybe. Almost certainly in time for recital day, June, 2010.

- Aw2pp, whose cold calling skills are getting a real workout in this jobless period.

This is a new one

Hyatt finally got back to me. After a week trying to decide between me and the other finalist for their Enterprise Architect position, they reached a conclusion: they would not be extending offers to either of us, and in fact, will not hire anyone for the position right now. Maybe they will revisit in 6 months.

Rejection has taken on many forms over these last two months. "We like you, you're perfect in fact, but..."

"... Sales pipeline fell through, and we can't afford to bring anyone on."

"... We're concerned that what you did at IBM is not relevant to our business model."

"... You're too tall, and would intimidate our customers, since they are mostly short."

(Yeah, I made that last one up.)

So I move on. In fact, I had a first interview yesterday with a small-ish ($100M) company that has been in business for 9 years and yet... get this... has never had any sales person. Literally, their product (a suite of Supply Chain Management solutions) has sold itself for 9 years. Of course, they figure it would sell even better if they had some people to, you know, sell it, hence my interview. Went well. Hoping for a follow-on next week.

I also have some interviews set up for later this week for Business Development positions selling IT services. I am getting some conflicting messages on whether this would be a good move, but as time passes, I'm finding less room to picky.

- Aw2pp, who re-certified for unemployment benefits early this morning.

Sunday afternoon piano blogging

Yesterday afternoon was rainy and windy, with temperatures in the 30's. Basically, my least favorite weather. With Sue gone to work, charming customers and colleagues alike at Costco, the kids and I spent the afternoon indoors. For a couple of hours, we rotated between playing Mariokart Wii, reading books to Rowan, playing a new game on the computer, and playing piano.

My assignment at piano lessons this week is Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2. No, not the full thing... in fact, to say it is simplified does a disservice to the word "simplified"... but Alfred's did indeed distill it down to bare essentials, and in fact, made it pretty easy. I've reached the point in Alfred's to where "pretty good" is good enough, and since I am not striving for (nor attaining) perfection, what I recorded is good enough. For me. For now. So here it is.

Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 (Theme) - Aw2pp

Box.net link


By now, you know this recording process. I play something, record it, play it back with the laptop connected, etc. Jillian, in between Marioakart Time Trials, watched me do this. Asked me to explain myself. And was all over recording her own stuff. So she tinkered with one of this week's assignments, and asked me to record it.

"Are you sure, Jillian? It doesn't sound like your best work."

"I know, Daddy. I want to hear my mistakes." Well then. Here is Jillian, and an in-progress version of Little Indian Brave.

indian brave by jillian 4-5-2009 -

Box.net link

By this point, Jason was interested. In fact, he took the process a step further, by asking if we could put recordings of ourselves on the iPod. "You bet, Jay!" So Jason busted out the following, his version of Jillian's first composition, which is called "Dance of the Dolphins" (formerly "Dance of the Unicorns", but remember, "Daddy, I am so over unicorns!").

dance of the dolphins - Jason

Box.net link

Then, of course, Rowan wanted a piece of the action. Unfortunately, we never recorded any of her excellence, but here is a picture of it. You'll notice little brother Joey is helping her with the pedals, since she can't reach them just yet.




Speaking of Joey, he has his own piano.



- Aw2pp, who sure is happy we elected to finish this Bonus Room now instead of later.

Spring?

There are rumors that Winter has ended, but in these parts, 41 miles west of downtown Chicago, we are unable to confirm this.





- Aw2pp, who took this picture at 7:30 this morning, thinking soccer practice might be canceled today.

Hmm, still unemployed (I think)

Remember that Hotel and Hospitality Provider? The one who was considering me as one of two finalists for their Enterprise Architect position, in charge of defining company-wide IT strategy? It's interesting, 8 of the first 10 people I met at this company offered me something to drink. That includes 4 of the 5 people who interviewed me on that first whirlwind day of interviews, several admins, and someone I met on the elevator. I later learned that this is part of the corporate culture: a service-minded approach to doing everything, because hospitality starts at the top.

Apparently, it doesn't extend all the way to the HR department, who told me on Wednesday that they would get back to me on Friday with a final decision. Friday came and went. No word from them. I'll call tomorrow.

- Aw2pp, whose LinkedIn profile is up to 140 contacts (and Nicaraguan contingent, why aren't you there?)

You know the job search is getting old when...

... corporate job boards (hello, Hewlett-Packard) are telling you your profile password has expired*, and you need a new one.

* - How funny. I have typed the "experienced" so much lately, it naturally flowed out as I typed the first few letters of "expired". Maybe that is a suggestion that I am using this word too much.

Remember those five strong opportunities I had a month ago? Let's review them.

- (Large pharmacy / retailer) interviewed me three times for an SOA Architect position. After the third visit, I got the sense this was not something I wanted to do, since it seemed all the interesting work had been done.

- (Small vendor of contact center / CRM software) interviewed me three times for a Sales Engineer position. They decided they liked me, but their sales pipeline disintegrated about that same time, and could not afford me.

- (Small vendor of SOA Governance and Virtualization software) interviewed me three times, then flew me to Dallas to meet with the executive team. They all "loved" (their word, not mine) me. But they concluded that my pre-sales experience with IBM was not relevant to their sales model, since they are so small and emerging, and can't rely on established sales channels. This one hurt, as I was surprised by it, and was sort of counting on this opportunity coming through. What's telling, though, is that they had three or four candidates prioritized behind me, and now that they told me "No", they have not restarted talks with them, either. Methinks they weren't in quite the hurry I thought they were.

- (A global hotel and hospitality chain) has interviewed me twice (well, six times, since once was a rapid-fire series of interviews) for an IT Strategy position. All along, dating back to January 26 when I first applied for this position, I regarded this as the most interesting job I could realistically compete for. Good thing, because it's the only opportunity that is still alive. I am told the hiring manager and team like me a lot, and have probably concluded I would be great in the role. Problem is, they said they feel the same way about "the other finalist". Decision due tomorrow (April 3). Here's hoping it comes through.

In the meantime, I have been laying the groundwork for backup opportunities, which I hope to not need. I must be over 200 applications by now.

- Aw2pp, who thanks you for considering his candidacy for your software presales engineer role...

Light and Blue

Whew. I had a surprisingly difficult time grabbing an acceptable recording of this. I played it very well at Monday night lessons, and figured it would take five minutes, tops, to reproduce what I had done there. Wrong. Took me most of the week, it turned out.

My only complaint with this otherwise very fun little tune is that the LH starts to get a little repetitive. The suggestion I got for how to deal with this is that the RH (high notes) are where the party is, so let those shine. I tried to mix things up second time through, just for added interest. I'm just not much for improv, so humor me.

Next up: a (very) simplified theme from Liszt's Hungarian Rhapsody #2.

Happy weekend, all.

Box.net link

light and blue 3-27-2009 -

- Aw2pp, aspiring blues pianist.

Hypothetically speaking...

... let's say you are the parents of a 2nd grade girl named, oh, Ashlin. (Note this is totally unrelated to anything we have talked about lately. This will be good news or bad news, depending on your point of view.) Let's suppose further...

... that a family built a house next door to you and moved in 7 months ago.

... that among their four children is a 1st grade girl named, oh, Lillian.

... that Ashlin and Lillian play together sometimes, go to the same school, see each other at the bus stop every morning, and generally get along famously. Sure, your (hypothetical) daughter is not BFF's* with Lillian, but hey, it's only been 7 months, and at least 6 of those were what we call "Winter", when nobody talks to each other.

* - Best Friends Forever. Yeah, I had to have that one told to me.

... that Ashlin is having a birthday party, and you are inviting, oh, 20 friends. Including Cory, another 1st grader, a very nice girl who lives directly across the street.

In this purely hypothetical situation... you would be certain, as Ashlin's parents, that you invited Lillian, the girl next door, right? RIGHT?

You would, wouldn't you?

Just checking.

- Aw2pp, who wonders how Ann Landers would have handled this...

Still jobless

I've now had three companies tell me, "We like you, we think you'd be great in the role, but..."

In the first instance, a small company had created a Sales Engineer position specifically for me. BUT sales pipeline had fallen apart, and they company was too small to withstand the risk of decreased revenue projections. "We'll get you an offer when things improve. Could be six weeks, could be six months."

In the second, my largest and most annoying competitor would have been happy, even enthusiastic about taking me on, and they even had open headcount. BUT they are in a hiring freeze, and may not have the open position released until June, at the earliest.

In the third, a small but highly intriguing company flew me to Dallas a few weeks ago to meet with all of their CxO type people. It went great. They all loved me, and I was the preferred (and insofar as I know, only remaining) candidate for a pre-sales opening in the Midwest, which is a new territory for them. BUT they are concerned that, coming from IBM, I simply hadn't had enough field sales experience, opportunities where my pre-sales expertise made the difference in a win. In response, I provided a document showing them the 22 opportunities I helped win in the last three years. I think there is an outside shot they'll say, "Oh, yeah, wow, that works for us, forget what we said earlier, and welcome aboard..." Realistically, the more likely outcome is that this is an opportunity missed.

So the strongest, and pretty much only remaining option, is a position with one of my customers, a large hotel and hospitality chain. Had a great second (final?) interview with them last Friday. I am one of two remaining finalists, and would happily accept an offer. Of course, that means this REALLY needs to come through, because if not, then what? To answer that question, I have re-stoked applications I let go fallow, and I have begun a fresh wave of new applications I hope to not need. But you never know.

- Aw2pp, who has built an impressive Mariokart wii license in the last few weeks. Boy howdy.

Theme from Raymond

Job search continues. More on that later. In the meantime, I am still working on Le Onde, with an eye towards possibly performing in front of strangers in June. And I am busting out my assigned Alfred's pieces, completing 2 every three weeks or so. (Which, at this rate, means it would take two years to complete the book. Yikes.)

Here is what the Raymond Overture sounds like. First, my usual imeem link (I removed some banner ads, I hope it still works). Second, for you Linux-impaired folk (AnthonyB, I am looking at you here), the Box.net link.

raymond theme 3-22-2009 -

Raymond overture - Box.net


I admit, I am not a fan of this. This is my first experience with the whole minor key thing, and the jumps are unfamiliar. So please forgive the slight pause at the end... I don't feel like playing it more to capture a perfect version.

The next piece (Light and Blue)... different story. That's lots of fun. Haven't tried to record it, but I'll see if I can do so this week. I still have some time on my hands, after all.

- Aw2pp, who is getting destroyed (as usual) in his NCAA tournament pools

And now for something completely different

Remember when this used to be a piano blog? And I used to post recordings? I do. I have been working on Guantanamera for two weeks now, and it's as good as it is going to get. So here you go.

Two formats: first, my preferred iMeem link, for those who can access it.

guantanamera 3-7-2009 -


Second, for friends like AnthonyB who had trouble with iMeem, here is your requested Box.net link:

Box.net link


- Aw2pp, a middle blocker for Chicago Coast North, averaging 1.9 digs per game on the year

Job Search Update, yet again

As I go through this process, I am struck by the parallels between searching for a new job and selling software. The steps are almost identical:

1. Use your resources to identify opportunities.
2. Qualify the best of those, so you know where to spend your time.
3. Identify requirements, and ascertain if you meet those.
4. If so, demonstrate your unique value.
5. Identify and address inhibitors.
6. Close the deal.

All the while, you are identifying risks, evaluating what the next step is, determining if it is in your (or the client's) best interests to go on to that next step, and working towards closure. The main difference between what I am doing now and selling software (heck, selling anything) is that when you sell, you want to close as many things as possible. In this case, while I'd be happy with multiple offers, time and financial circumstances dictate that I am probably going to have to take the first reasonable offer that comes. Thankfully, the most promising opportunity is also the furthest along.

I met with the gentleman who would be my manager if I took a presales position with a small vendor of SOA Testing and Governance Software. After an hour of asking questions he'd already asked me before, and talking about things we'd already covered in earlier interviews, he admitted: "Look, I didn't really have any questions for you today. The purpose of our meeting here was to meet face-to-face, and validate that you are the same strong candidate in person as you presented yourself to be over the phone. You are, and I think you would be a great fit on my team."

I broke the brief, uncomfortable pause with, "So, you brought my offer with you, then?" He laughed, and then began enumerating the short list of things that have to be done before an offer comes. Basically, I have to fly to Dallas and let someone on the executive team buy me lunch. So I will let you know when that goes down.

In the meantime, I have to continue progressing other opportunities, just to be safe. So I had nother interview today, and more tomorrow, Friday, and Tuesday, to convince people to extend me job offers I hope to not need. It's a strange dance, and in feels a little disingenuous of me, but it's got to be done. Heaven help us if I put my faith in this one, strong, compelling opportunity, and it falls through.

Piano lessons update

Jillian is flying through her assignments. Each week, PT assigns her 4 or 5 pieces, and each week, Jillian goes to work and completes them. At this rate, she'll be through the Bastien Primer B by the end of this month.

They spend a lot of time on note identification and counting. PT had noticed Jillian's creative fingering on the keyboard early on, made a couple of suggestions, and told me they would be returning to that topic on down the line. The suggestions were light, mild, and very specific to what Jillian was playing at the time. Thing is, having made those suggestions, Jillian's fingering has improved across the board, and at this time, it's really not an issue.

And most importantly, Jillian loves piano lessons. We'll milk that cow for as long as it remains true. Hopefully, years to come.

Me? Not so much improvement. With the possible exception of Guatanamera (hold that thought), there isn't anything I am playing better now than before lessons. While this is mildly disappointing, it is not entirely surprising. I had my own unique way of navigating the keyboard, and unlearning some of those habits is taking some time.

But there's more... my lessons are, right now, very music-heavy. We spend time talking about how to know if something is in the key of C or A minor, and what the difference is between tonic, dominant, and sub-dominant chords. I take it as a matter of faith that this will be relevant on down the line. But it isn't going to help me with problems I am having on Melodia Africana II. In fact, I am not really playing any Einaudi pieces at the moment. It's all Alfred's Book 2, all the time for me.

I practiced Guantanamera for probably 5 hours last week. I had hoped to play it well enough to move on in one week... two reasons for this. First, I am competitive, and wanted to prove PT wrong when she said we'd probably be spending a few weeks on it. Second, the piece annoys me, and I want to be done with it ASAP. No luck. I played it very poorly. So it's another week with Guantanamera. If I get it up to speed soon enough, maybe I'll grab a recording for you. We've not had any of those in awhile. And I've still got some time on my hands...

Last thing on piano lessons: I think I may have mentioned that there will be a recital in June. PT and I were talking about whether I should participate. I told her that, as much as I'd be a bundle of nerves, I think it would set a poor example for Jillian (and other future piano players in the family... hi kids!) to sit it out. She agreed, so we have begun discussing potential pieces.

I want to play Le Onde.

We'll see.

Job hunt update number something or other

Monday morning was my exit interview. I am officially no longer part of IBM. So how are the other job opportunities progressing? Here are updates on the four opportunities I felt were most likely,

1. (A large drugstore chain*) - Had my first interview with them Tuesday. It was a 45 minute phone screen. This company is undertaking a huge, highly visible project in which they are going to completely revamp how they connect stores, distribution centers, suppliers, and corporate headquarters. What's compelling about this is that they are using the software I know best as the basis for this project. Not only do they need folks with my skills, but they need a lot of them. The downside is that I am not entirely convinced they are going about this the right way. Right or not, that ship has sailed. The project is underway. If they are successful, the captain and crew are going to be heroes. If not? They are going to flame out in a spectacular, highly visible manner. Everyone associated with the project seems a little edgy to me. Of course, this is precisely why they could use me.

What's next? I was the first of 22 phone screens they are making this week (thank you Accenture insider for that information). When they get to the end of the list, possibly this week, more likely into next, they will then bring the short listed candidates in to meet in person.

* - For now, I am choosing not to identify these companies. Don't know why, just seems like the right thing to do. Not that you couldn't figure out who they are if you really wanted to; I'm not being that opaque. I'm also going try really hard not to use TLA's** like SOA and BPM. If you know what these things are, feel free to insert them yourself wherever it sounds most appropriate. If not, move along, there is nothing to see here.

** - Three Letter Acronyms. Popular in organizations like IBM, SAP, the FBI and the CIA.

2. (Our* WebSphere's largest and most annoying competitor) - Had a second interview, a face-to-face one, mere hours after Monday's exit interview. Went very well. The guy I met with manages a team of people who do exactly what I did for IBM. He thinks I am a perfect fit, and would really like to get me in the company. Problem is, they are in some sort of hiring freeze, and he doesn't seem able to create any positions right now. There is an opening in an above-region role (IE, covering a larger territory in support of larger, more strategic accounts) but it appears someone may have beaten me to that position.

What's next? Nothing left to do but wait on this one. It would appear, in fact, that this is dead in the water for now. I may talk to them a little further about a Sales Rep position they have... but wow, talk about descending deeply to the Dark Side! Joining the competition AND becoming a Sales Rep. That's too much cognitive dissonance to digest in one day.

* - I am finding it is taking some getting used to not to say "I" or "we" when talking about IBM. This makes interviews, especially those with competitors, awkward.

3. (A large hotel and hospitality chain) - Now this is interesting. They are in the infancy, nay, prenatal stages of a project that is smack in the middle of my expertise. Which is funny, because my expertise, though deep, is highly specific, and not at all broad. Which makes perfect fits somewhat rare for me. There are very few positions, unfortunately, that I could get up to speed on quickly, and do well. This is one. I had a series of 5 interviews with them yesterday morning, all face-to-face. It is my impression that 4 of the 5 interviews went very well, and 1 went moderately well. The outlier is the database guy, who, based on his line of questioning, may have some doubts as to whether I am technical enough.*

* - Yeah, this issue again.
Interviewer: "On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being a propellerhead computer nerd and 1 being technological idiot with a newly minted MBA, rate yourself."
Aw2pp: "About a 5.9."
Interviewer: "Oh, I am sorry, the answer we were looking for was 6.4. Thank you for playing. NEXT!"

What's interesting about this particular position is that it is all about strategy. They are hiring this person to define an IT strategy that is in line with overall business strategy, and then evaluate projects against their adherence to this strategy. Those that adhere (apparently these are very few in number) will continue. Others are either tweaked or scrapped. Very high-level, thinking and planning type stuff. I really like the sound of that, and hope to get an offer. Especially if I don't get an offer from #4.

What's next? I expect the HR recruiter to give me a call this week, and set up a face-to-face with the VP who manages everyone I met yesterday. I hear good things about this gentleman.

4. (A tiny software vendor)- I had a second interview Tuesday morning with the local account team*.

* - By "local account team", I mean a guy who lives in Wisconsin and drives to Chicago a lot. Did I mention it was small company?

We met at a Perkins restaurant just off the interstate. Nothing but good vibes here. I like the:

- Company. They are just crushing their sales targets, and the lousy economy is only helping them.
- People I have met.
- Market niche. The only competition is ignorance. As in, "Wait, there is a product that does this? What a fantastic idea! Where's my Purchase Order?" Which makes them a prime acquisition target, though company leaders I've spoken to deny this with surprising vehemence.
- Opportunity. Let's face it, you don't join IBM or SAP (my last two employers) to grow the business. Working for a 100-person software company with an international presence, however, brings out the entrepreneur in all of us. Everyone has to produce, everyone has to pull their weight. And if we do, there is some serious money to be made here.

What's next? The Presales VP is flying in next week to meet me. Then maybe a conversation with the CEO, perhaps a technical screening.

- Aw2pp, a former IBMer

Make it four

When last we talked, I had resolved to focus my attention on three strong possibilities. Late Friday afternoon, a fourth entered the picture. So my interview schedule looks like this over the first part of this week:

Monday morning - Goodbye IBM. (Exit interview.)
Monday afternoon - Interview #2 with largest competitor.
Tuesday morning - Interview #2 with tiny but thriving company.
Tuesday afternoon - Interview #1 with very large customer.
Wednesday morning - Interview #1 with a medium-sized customer.

At this point, all four opportunities are strong. In 2 cases, I have already talked to the hiring manager on the phone and they seemed to like me. In the others, the hiring manager told their corporate recruiter "This is the first guy I want to talk to." Ya gotta think (I do, that's for sure) that, of these four, an offer is going to come from one of them. If not... I gotta brush up on my interview skills, I guess.

So consider this a heads up... light blogging until maybe Wednesday afternoon.

- Aw2pp, who, in all the commotion, failed to notice that pitchers and catchers reported.

The Highs and the Lows

I'm pretty even keeled. Typically not too excitable either way. Years ago, when I was a high school volleyball coach (would you believe that?), I preached this: things are never as bad, nor as good, as they seem. Words to live by, and I do my best.

To illustrate, think of a number, between 0 and 100, that describes your emotional state right now. 100 is deliriously happy, 0 is incapacitating despondency. For added fun, put that number in the comments right now. I'll wait.

For me, I typically stay between, say, 45 and 55.* Lately, it's been difficult to stay within, as Data from STTNG** might say, "Normal operating parameters."

* - I'm told Zoloft does this to you. Not that I have any first-hand experience, mind you.
** - Google it, if you must.


Let's say I walked in to work on January 21 sporting a nice round 50. Upon hearing that IBM has decided to move on without me and 16,000 of my closest colleagues, I plummeted immediately to, say, a 5. Couldn't put two words together as I tried to call Sue on the way home. I'm sure that was a little unsettling for her. By the time I got home, I had improved to, say, 25.

Over the next day or two, this number continued to climb, even getting up into the 60's or so as I discovered the breadth of opportunities out there. Of course, I had, at the time, a poor sense of how to identify the best options, and got some quick rejections. And that is really the whole point of this post. The last month has been that way.

Aw2pp: "IBM needs a Telelogic Rep? I could sell Telelogic! Interview me!" 65
IBM: "True, the posting went up just this morning, but we already filled the position." 35

Aw2pp: "Wow, AON needs a Director of IT Infrastructure. I could do that!" 75
AON: "Call us back in ten years." 30

Aw2pp: "Hey, IBM is hiring a Sales Leader for the Distribution Sector!" 80
IBM: "If you have to look up what 'Distribution Sector' means, you're probably not the right one for the job." 25

Yes, all the above has happened. I have another half dozen just like these. And yes, in each case I truly, naively, was excited about the opportunity; and in each case, I crashed to Earth upon the rejection. Why do I tell you this? They say admitting you have a problem is the first step. I admit I need to get a grip on myself. And today is a good day to do it, because I had an exceptionally positive interview with a small software vendor, which could lead to a potentially lucrative offer some time in March. I have an interview with our #1 competitor on Monday, and they are very interested in me. My #1 customer target called today, and scheduled an interview for Tuesday. They have four openings in my skill set, and the recruiter told me I was the hiring team's first prospect they want to talk to . Heck, it was even breakfast for dinner tonight... does it get better than that?

Everything's coming up Millhouse for Aw2pp, so the temptation is staring me in the face to climb back up the scale again. So, consider this post my attempt at getting a grip, to remind myself that the most likely scenario is that, on Monday morning, I am still going to be jobless. And the job search count still shows a goosegg in the "offers" column. Here, I'll show you:

Applications: 122
Rejections: 24
Interviews: 9
Offers: 0

Still, breakfast for dinner is pretty nice.

- Aw2pp, who has yet to find a reasonable wine match for pancakes.

An actual piano-related post

I apologize to those of you who are disinterested in the job search updates. I can tell from the lack of emails and comments that this is not quite so interesting for you. We'll resume regular programming once this is all behind us. That said, I have a piano question.

Those who know me know that, when it comes to computers, I am NOT a mouse person. In 7 years of doing documentation, QA, and development for SAP, I never used a mouse. Since joining IBM 3 years ago, I never used a mouse. Strictly a laptop guy, content to use the keyboard whenever and however possible. This past Christmas, I got a wireless keyboard / mouse to use with my laptop. Here we are 6 weeks later, and the mouse no longer works. I will probably replace it*, but in the meantime, I am not perturbed. Reason? I knows my keyboard shortcuts.

* - Partly because sometimes it's nice to have a mouse, and partly because the keyboard rocks, and it would be silly to keep it, but not the mouse.

It took awhile to learn them. Among my favorites? Shift-F3 to toggle between capitalization cases in Microsoft documents.* Try it. Click on (or in) a word, hit Shift-F3 and watch it go from "word" to "WORD" to "Word" to...

* - Funny thing... I didn't actually know the shortcut was Shift-F3... I had to open a Word document, type a word, cycle through the cases, then observe what I did to do that. Which brings me, finally, to my point...

Piano, to me, feels like I am executing keyboard shortcuts. Even things I come to know well... say, Ombre or The Entertainer... it feels like my fingers are executing series of pre-programmed steps. Sometimes, I may need to glance at the music just for a mental cue on which sequence is coming next. For something I have played a lot, like I Due Fiumi, even this isn't (or, until recently, wasn't*) totally necessary. I know each sequence, and I know the sequence of the sequences.

* - The problem now with IDF is that, as I mentioned before, the sequence I had ingrained into myself was not, shall we say, orthodox. And learning a new finger pattern is MUCH harder than I thought it would be. I may as well be learning a new piece, even though the notes are the same.

"So, Aw2pp, what's the problem?" Problem is, it doesn't feel like I am making music. It doesn't feel that different, in fact, from typing on my laptop. It's a choreagraphed finger exercise. Acquiring new music a very time-consuming exercise this way. Increasingly so, as the music (and hence, keyboard sequences) become more varied and complicated.

So my questions: this is natural, isn't it? Is this all part of the process? Is that the point of scales and arps, so that those pre-programmed steps become natural, and when you come across them in music, they aren't unfamiliar? Does any of this make sense?

- Aw2pp, a starting middle blocker for Chicago Coast North, hitting .111 on the year.